Well, failure hasn’t been a new thing, as I have learned to juggle with it since I was a kid, so you are no worse than me. I remember I was a sixth-grader when I collided with rejection for the first time. I am used to it now, but earlier that year it felt as if my entire world collapsed. A pang of remorse slid inside when a schoolteacher asked my best friend to abstain from talking to me. I am specifically trying to recall, but my teachers felt the need to keep my friend away from my company because I was an average performer who they assumed could make my friend mediocre too if she stayed with me. They looked down upon me and made me realize how immensely ugly I was for this world. At a loss, wasn’t I? And since then, I have always felt lost in life with little or no self-worth left in my bowl, but back then I didn’t know it would make me doubt myself for the whole next decade. Yet this is a little chunk of all the rejections and failures that slammed in my face, and I am sure there’s more to come. Yet, toast to me, because it’s not an end of my story.
But, I have realized over the years that the first step towards a change is being aware of your problem and later walking all over it like a boss. So, perhaps you are here because you encountered rejections too, but you know what? Rejection hasn’t spared me as well, so I know a few sneaky life hacks that will help you pick yourself back up. Try it, you’ll thank me later!
Why rejection is good for you?
Rejection is the major aspect of life that is often left undiscussed. We all run into rejections at every milestone of life, but you know what? Rejection is the best thing that could ever happen to you, so thank everyone who threw one at you. If you are thinking if she is nuts to say this, then well, you are right. You might have forgotten, but let me quickly help you recall when you encountered the worst rejection of your life. Was it when you failed during a job interview or when a person you loved the most never returned your call. But could you recall what happened later? Didn’t that rejection change you? Did it make you push yourself towards becoming a better version? Did it not make you live with a fire burning inside til you finally cracked that interview or opened your heart again and honestly confessed your feelings without lowering down your worth. And if it changed you in some way, then pat yourself on the back for being courageous and lifting yourself every time someone knocked you down. And seriously, every rejection and failure is worth it if it makes you feel confident about yourself at times when you have nothing left at your end.
Yet, sometimes it can be too overwhelming when rejections come in a row or trespasses when you are asleep. But learning to get back up from a failure is a skill, and here’s how how you can tackle a rejection so that next time it peeps in, you are already wide awake with your ass ready to fight.
1. Don’t take rejections personally
Rejection can be one of the greatest catalysts towards your growth and success if you stop seeing it as your enemy. Rejection hurts! It can make you feel bad about yourself, generate massive self-doubt and make you second-guess your worth until you stop taking it personally. You need to know that nobody has ever been born who isn’t hit by rejection. So, you are just one among all who encounter a big fat ‘No’ every single day. Now when you know you are not the only one, you need to stop being a victim of all the rejections that are thrown at you and look for the right opportunities to leverage the pain and use it to grow yourself. Being rejected for a writer’s job allows you to beat at your craft and get exceptionally better so next time when the opportunity knocks, you’re ready to grab your seat.
2. Develop a growth mindset
People with a fixed mindset are more likely to see themselves as a failure or unworthy whenever a rejection comes their way, while people with a growth mindset view it as an opportunity to grow. So if you want to overcome the pain caused by rejection, then you need to shift your mindset and identity from being a failure and unworthy person to that of a learner. So later, when you fail at a task, quickly note things that didn’t go right. Maybe you lacked a few skills or failed to deliver a message in the right way, and once you identify what didn’t go well, you will always have room for improvement. Give me a high-five if you commit to learning from your mistakes when a new rejection check-in.
3. Rewrite your story
Don't give up!
Despite all the trash people throw at you, you always have a choice left to respond the way you want, because you deadass are in charge of your life. Earlier this year, when the rejection came as a fat nosy ‘No’ for the articles I wrote for a website, I felt crippled. I internalized the rejection and labeled myself as a poor writer and later stopped writing for the next few months until one day I realized I can’t give up in the face of rejection. Surely I can be a shitty writer, but it doesn’t leave room for not getting better. And seriously, I procrastinated for the next few months but I knew I can not let one rejection change my love for writing. This can be a story for everyone who was once characterized as ugly, fat, skinny, or not so smart. You can always demarcate yourself from the labels that people gave you and rewrite a story that you have always wanted to hear about yourself. Change the narrative, and call yourself smart, worthy, and attractive and you will soon notice how every rejection turns into your best friend.
4. Stop proving yourself to others
People often indulge in proving their abilities when someone rejects them. But trust me, proving yourself to others is the most unhealthy way of overcoming rejection. Now, if you are wondering why, then let me tell you. Your grave efforts to prove yourself reflect the degree to which you have taken the rejection personally. And the more personally you take it, the more you will start comparing yourself with the competitors, which can later drain off all your energy. So it is always vital to know that there’s always someone out there who can outsmart you. People who try to prove themselves to others often develop a lack mindset which makes them view the world with a lack of opportunities, and they constantly battle to get ahead of their competitors, while the people who overcome rejection by competing with themselves always try to improve themselves. They have an abundant mindset that makes them see the world with many opportunities, and they believe they can effortlessly grab one if they work on their skill-set. So who are you going to be?
Conclusion
Feeling motivated? So what are you waiting for? Get up and do something about the pile of rejections slouching on your bed. It surely can be nerve-racking in the start, but trust me, buddy, you are worth everything that you dreamt for yourself. Learn to walk an extra mile and change your mindset towards rejection, and you will see wonders happening in your life.
