7 toxic family members you should keep at a distance

Family is often seen as a source of love, support, and belonging. From childhood, we are taught that family bonds should be cherished and protected. However, what happens when these relationships cause more harm than good?

Not every family member has your best interests at heart. Some can be emotionally draining, manipulative, or even toxic. While completely cutting ties with family can be challenging and, in some cases, unnecessary, maintaining healthy boundaries is essential for your well-being. Recognising which family members negatively impact your life can help protect your mental and emotional health.

If you've ever felt guilty for distancing yourself from certain relatives, know that prioritising your peace is not selfish—it’s necessary. Below are seven family members who might be better loved from a distance.

The 7 types of relatives to avoid

1. The constant critic

These family members always find something wrong with you—your choices, your appearance, your career, or even the way you handle your relationships. Their words can be masked as ‘constructive criticism,’ but their remarks leave you feeling unworthy and insecure. Over time, their negativity can erode your self-esteem and make you question your worth.

They might compare you to others, dismiss your accomplishments, or highlight your flaws without offering any genuine support. Constant exposure to their disapproval can make you second-guess your decisions and hinder personal growth.

How to handle them:

• Limit interactions and keep conversations neutral.
• Avoid seeking their validation.
• Politely but firmly shut down negative comments.
• Focus on constructive feedback from supportive individuals.

2. The manipulator

Manipulative family members use guilt, emotional blackmail, or deception to get what they want. They may exaggerate their struggles, twist words, or make you feel responsible for their happiness. The result? You constantly feel obligated to please them, even at your own expense.

These individuals are skilled at making you doubt your choices and emotions. They may use phrases like, "After everything I've done for you," or "If you loved me, you would..." to guilt-trip you into compliance. Over time, their control can become suffocating.

How to handle them:

• Recognise their tactics and set firm boundaries.
• Avoid explaining yourself excessively—manipulators will twist your words.
• Learn to say “no” without guilt.
• Trust your instincts when something feels emotionally draining.

3. The jealous relative

These family members never celebrate your success. Instead of being happy for you, they compare, downplay, or sabotage your achievements. Their jealousy can create unnecessary competition and resentment, making it difficult to share your joys without feeling judged.

They might minimise your accomplishments, gossip about you, or try to outshine you. Their insecurity often drives them to project their dissatisfaction onto you, creating an uncomfortable dynamic.

How to handle them:

• Keep personal victories private.
• Avoid engaging in competition.
• Surround yourself with people who genuinely support you.
• Understand that their jealousy stems from their insecurities, not their worth.

4. The perpetual victim

This type of family member constantly complains about their life but refuses to take responsibility. They always blame others for their problems and expect you to rescue them. Their negativity can drain your energy and make you feel guilty for not fixing their issues.

They may resist advice, dwell on their misfortunes, and expect sympathy without making any effort to improve their situation. Over time, their chronic complaints can become emotionally exhausting.

How to handle them:

• Offer support but avoid becoming their emotional dumping ground.
• Encourage them to seek professional help if needed.
• Don’t take on their problems as your own.
• Redirect conversations towards solutions rather than complaints.

5. The drama magnet

Every conversation with this person revolves around conflict, gossip, or exaggerated issues. They thrive on drama and often involve others in their chaos. Associating with them can lead to unnecessary stress and involvement in conflicts that aren’t yours.

They may stir up unnecessary arguments, spread rumours, or create tension among family members for entertainment. Their behaviour can leave you emotionally drained and constantly on edge.

How to handle them:

• Keep interactions brief and avoid gossip.
• Do not get dragged into their conflicts.
• Set clear boundaries on what you will and won’t discuss.
• Distance yourself from their emotional turbulence.

6. The self-absorbed narcissist

This person believes the world revolves around them. They lack empathy, dismiss your feelings, and only reach out when they need something. Conversations are one-sided, and your needs are never acknowledged.

They may interrupt, dominate conversations, or belittle your experiences. They often expect special treatment without reciprocating kindness or consideration. Interactions with them can leave you feeling invisible and unimportant.

How to handle them:

• Keep interactions transactional and limit deep emotional sharing.
• Avoid seeking their approval.
• Focus on relationships that value mutual respect.
• Don’t let their self-centeredness dictate your self-worth.

7. The energy drainer

These family members always leave you emotionally exhausted. They may not be outright toxic, but their constant negativity, neediness, or pessimism can wear you down. Their presence feels like a burden, leaving you mentally drained after every interaction.

They may vent endlessly, expect constant support, or thrive on a cycle of negativity. Spending too much time with them can affect your emotional well-being and outlook on life.

How to handle them:

• Spend time with them in small doses.
• Replenish your energy with positive relationships.
• Don’t feel obligated to engage in their negativity.
• Set time limits on interactions and focus on uplifting discussions.

Final thoughts

Setting boundaries with toxic family members is not about cutting people out of your life out of spite—it’s about prioritising your mental and emotional well-being. Family ties are important, but not at the cost of your happiness and inner peace. If certain relationships make you feel constantly drained, anxious, or unappreciated, it may be time to step back.

Remember, you have the right to choose who you allow into your emotional space. Protect your peace, and surround yourself with those who uplift you, not those who bring you down.